Mentorship is an unhelpful label

At some point in your career, it's inevitable that you'll be told it's time to take on more of a mentorship role on your team if you want to keep getting promoted. My feeling is that this kind of vague advice can lead to a lot of clumsy, disingenuous, or even damaging attempts to mentor others.

The best mentorship is built upon trust and genuine care among all involved. I have some thoughts about what healthy mentorship looks like, and I think they're worth considering if you ever find yourself facing down an expectation to become more of a mentor.

Trust can't be forced

Effective learning relationships are fundamentally about trust, and trust isn't something you can conjure out of thin air. It develops slowly through genuine shared moments and sincere care. Trying to shortcut trust-building for any reason risks undermining the very authenticity that all mentorship depends upon.

What's more, it's also disrespectful to try and force mentorship upon someone else when the trust isn't there, or if it's not something they've expressed interest in. Importantly, "not forcing it" also means being more than willing to back off when someone doesn't want to work with you that closely, and not judging them in any way for that. Step back, do your own thing and lead by example.

Drop the labels, lead with honesty

The strongest learning relationships rest on honesty and openness. When you bring too much agenda into mentorship it's painfully obvious and upsets the whole dynamic before it really even begins. Direct your energy toward genuine curiosity and care for the other person; growth and trust emerge naturally when your motives are clean.

Once you label your interactions "mentorship," even just in your own head, it's easy to slip into performance, or at least approximating some vague ideas of mentorship that you already have in your head. You might speak canned wisdom or start to imitate an idolized teacher from your past. My advice is avoid labeling it, skip the role-play, and keep your focus on what the other person actually needs. If someone eventually labels you a mentor it's a tremendous honor, but you're not the one who gets to characterize it.

Own your responsibility

It's important to recognize the weight of the responsibility you carry when someone trusts you with their growth and values your guidance. Mentorship may benefit both of you, but the person seeking guidance has the most to gain or lose. The wrong advice can steer them off course for years, so you should always be aware of that.

Respect individuality and self-directed growth

Growing your influence doesn't mean creating miniature versions of yourself. Every person and path is distinct, shaped by personal traits, timing, and unique context. What worked for you 5–10 years ago might not work for someone else today, either because the world has changed or because they're just not you. Remember that the best guidance helps others find what they're looking for and supports growth on their terms. The greatest impact you can make is to help someone find their own voice and path, even if they couldn't be more different from your own.

In conclusion...

Drop the "mentorship" label, take the responsibility seriously, and focus on the person in front of you. It's not easy to do all those things all of the time, but if you consistently bring that attitude to interactions with your coworkers, you won't need title or accolades to prove your impact—the evidence will be alive in someone else's success.